"You never wanted to be an astronaut when you were a kid Scully?"
"I guess I missed that phase."

"Space" is an episode with a special distinction for me. While I
obviously love the X-Files, I can also recognize that along with
the great, good, and OK episodes there occasionally emerges a sad
clunker or two. Some are even astoundingly bad. Everyone has a 
"worst X-Files episode ever" entry. "Space" is mine. If I may quote 
the character of Michelle Generoo: "It was grotesque. I don’t know 
what it was." I think it is fitting that this episode was written 
by Chris Carter himself as I find him to be one of the more uneven
writers on staff. His highs are tremendous moments celebrated by 
X-Philes everywhere. His lows are often a wordy and confusing mish-
mash, or in this case Mars-mush.

In the X-Files the teaser is an important moment. It is meant to 
grab the audience’s attention and involve them immediately in the 
story. This one tends to induce you to sleep. A news report from 
the 70s complete with scary 70s newsgirl clothes talking to then 
Lt. Col. Belt about the Viking Orbiter taking pictures of something 
that looked like a face on Mars. Belt scoffs, takes home a black 
and white photo of the darn thing, has an incredibly unconvincing 
looking nightmare and then the ceiling above his bed turns into 
the face and lands on him. Whatever.

Somewhere in this mess we find out that Belt has been haunted by 
something that looks just like that silly Mars face since a long 
ago space walk. Apparently the thing makes him try to sabotage the 
space program over the years while twisting around on his face at 
night. Oh, and I forgot, every once in a while it leaves his body 
to fly up into space or around deserted roads. Now there’s a 
compelling ghost story. It’s kind of an alien haunting with ultra 
cheesy effects (I won’t call them special effects as they were far
from special).

So, the majority of the episode consists of these boring sequences 
in mission control where stock NASA footage is shown, something goes 
wrong with the shuttle, stock NASA footage is shown,  the shuttle 
commander make brave jokes,  stock NASA footage is shown, Mulder and 
Scully stand around looking tense, more footage, clocks tick, Mulder 
explains some NASA thing to Scully, footage, Belt looks guilty while 
Generoo looks tense and says "OTC this is Houston" like a million 
times, and then after more footage everyone claps as the shuttle is 
once again saved. (It should be noted that these celebration moments 
do include an X-Files rarity - not only does Scully smile she even
laughs in relief). Believe it or not this sequence of events takes 
place not once, but twice. As if the first time was not exciting 
enough.

Even the detective work in this one is laughable it is so implausible. 
First of all Ms. Generoo shows up in DC acting all cloak and dagger 
saying "according to the person who gave me your names you have some 
expertise in unexplained phenomena". So, I guess after just a short 
period of time Mulder and Scully have even gained a following down at 
Johnson Space Center so much that they are sought out. Also, the fact 
that she had to go to these lengths when she had clear evidence of a 
problem is ridiculous. I should come clean here and let you all know 
that not only did I live in Houston for nine years, I spent a lot of 
time at Johnson Space Center when I was there. There are plenty of 
other avenues she could have taken to get action given her position
at NASA - especially after the Challenger accident - that would have 
got that mission seriously investigated. Instead we get that 
stereotypical weak female "my boyfriend is on the shuttle" explanation.

So, when they actually get to NASA we find that no one there sends 
more than one computer dweeb to investigate a major shuttle telemetry 
problem until they arrive? Right. Thank God they were there. But wait, 
it gets better. In under four hours our amazing heroes manage to run 
back up to a Houston high rise apartment to find Belt and return him 
to JSC -  yet they still have time to go through a NASA library looking 
through what are described as tens of thousands of documents with 
Scully finding the needle in a haystack proving Belt knew about the 
problems while Mulder single-handedly solves the seven year old 
Challenger mystery. Are they smart or what! It’s no wonder everyone
at mission control listened and obeyed Mulder when he rushed down 
telling them how to solve their shuttle problem.

Things get really annoying at the very end where Mulder, after 
reading the non-existent "Houston Daily", decides that Belt was 
some sort of hero who gave his life rather than a psycho who was 
responsible for one of the worst space program disasters ever. 
Oh yeah, the Mars ghost made him do it. 

Despite being so bad I have to commend Anderson and Duchovny for 
not phoning in their performances - maybe as it was so early in 
the life of the X-Files it was not the temptation it can be these 
days when confronted with a weak script. There were actually some 
fun moments between them. My favorite moment of this episode is 
that initial cart ride through JSC where Mulder is talking about 
a conspiracy to deny evidence of alien civilizations and Scully 
answers with a sarcastic "Oh, of course". The rest of the time we 
have Mulder skipping like a school boy down the halls of NASA as 
he fulfills his boyhood fantasies, pontificating about the space 
program or acting star struck while Scully asks the questions of 
Belt (who gives her ultra corny answers like the shuttle coming 
back "like winged victory herself"). 

 Random Musings
----------------------
-This is one of the few episodes that features Scully munching
on sunflower seeds too. As she turns when approached by Ms. Generoo 
on the steps you can see her chewing along with Mulder.

-Well they obviously wanted to make sure we *just knew* we were 
at NASA as it is plastered all over everything they see.

-I know this is even more nitpicky than usual for me (if you 
can possibly believe it), but hey, as I said, I used to live in 
Houston. It is apparent that Carter has absolutely no idea how 
NASA and Houston are actually laid out. NASA JSC is actually 
about 40 minutes south of the city in Clear Lake (even though 
the JSC land itself is owned by Houston). Mulder and Scully 
would have either been staying at the hotels across the street 
or in Houston itself so all these "We’ve got to get back to 
Houston" pleadings just don’t make sense. Plus, it is major 
streets and highway all the way from Houston to Clear Lake - 
no odd little deserted roads where Mars faces can run you down.

-Dr. Scully wasn’t much of a factor in this episode. Her attempts 
to help Michelle after the crash comprised of half hearted pulse 
taking and hair swiping. Later, when Belt collapses, Mulder asks 
for a Doctor when she is standing right there. Plus she lets Mulder 
do that silly finger "focus your pain - right here" thing at a risk 
to Belt’s health. Belt wasn’t the only one whose pain was focused 
by this point.

-It’s no wonder Mulder has dropped his gun so often. Here, while 
Scully holds hers muzzle up in two hands he walks around with it 
loose and pointing every which way in one hand.

-Fashion Watch: It may have been dull to sit through, but at least 
Scully got to wear her rather fetching red suit even if she also 
brought along a purple trench coat.

-Poor disillusioned Mulder having to watch Belt lie to the press. 
Scully says "So much for your boyhood hero" which really means 
"Here Mulder let me rub some salt in your wounds."

-I certainly got a chuckle out of the NASA file names that kept 
scrolling by during the great computer search with names like 
WEIGHTLESS.DOC.

Autumn
"Yeah, it ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning 
to braid my own hair."